


Tearing

by jamesraoulsilva



Category: James Bond (Craig movies), James Bond (Movies), Raoul Silva - Fandom, Skyfall (2012) - Fandom
Genre: 007, Angst, Gen, James Bond - Freeform, James Bond Skyfall - Freeform, Raoul Silva - Freeform, Skyfall, m - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-15
Updated: 2013-05-15
Packaged: 2017-12-12 00:16:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/804902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jamesraoulsilva/pseuds/jamesraoulsilva
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You made your life a perfect lie to anyone but yourself. Because you were still in pieces on the dirty, contaminated prison cell floor she left you lying to rot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tearing

_Power is in inflicting pain and humiliation._   
_Power is in tearing human minds to pieces and putting them together again in new shapes of your choosing._   
**1984, George Orwell**

Your mind was destroyed by her. Your mind was torn apart, ripped, ruptured and mutilated. But she didn’t put you back together when you were begging for it, you weren’t reconstructed. You had to find the pieces yourself but they were scattered where you couldn’t reach.

You started reconstructing your face. You installed your too perfect porcelain teeth; you made it clear it was a façade and it was a lie. You made your life a perfect lie to anyone but yourself. Because you were still in pieces on the dirty, contaminated prison cell floor she left you lying to rot.

 

 _L_ iving like that, you found your niche. You taught yourself how to provoke again, lessons from your past turned into a weapon to the ones who were your teachers so long ago. You started building your own little kingdom in a deserted realm and whenever it was fleeting you reminded yourself that you were alive.

 _I_ n a place where you were alone you surrounded yourself with your demons, perpetually reminding you of your self-made one-man mission. You made them your companions, you made them your allies, you made them your cobweb armor against her fire.

 _E_ ven when you had assembled all your ammunition and all your ordnance you weren’t ready. It cost you years and years to figure out your scheme and you needed leverage but you were alone.

 _S_ o you recruited people; some were desperate, some wanted the money you could offer without effort and some that were a bit like the bargaining chip you were trying to win, so you could work on them and develop your own sublime blueprint.

 

 _P_ ower, you understood, was about taking away what one needs or enforcing what one cannot survive. So you took away her HDD and blew up her headquarters. It was almost as if you were playing the gentleman here by trading seven dead men in exchange for the price she put on your head. You only increased it by one unit.

 _A_ nd then you took another one. As your patience started seeping away and the explosives in your brain started ticking you decided to lure away her most trusted puppet.

 _I_ t was a shame you had trade your own delicately shaped tool for him, although according to you it was a fair trade. You advanced your way into her personal leeway by stepping backwards even when you were standing with your back against the wall.

 _N_ ever planning to show the cracks and injuries in your soul you couldn’t help but showing a little of the depths of your chronic madness and it started dripping through when you took away your physical façade.

 

You showed her you were beyond repair and she showed you the pieces you so desperately needed and crushed them in front of your drooping face. Then when you made your way out of your prison which it ceased to be, you fought your way back to her, clawed your way back to her.

You couldn’t do it.

 

 _S_ he was your only way back to your old life but you didn’t yet realise that life was gone. Whatever way you would take, whichever course your shuffling feet would drag you, you could only find empty beds, forsaken paths and promises long forgotten.

 _A_ s she was standing there at your mercy for a split second you had everything you ever wanted and it was taken from you again. As the haze clouded your vision you turned and left the building on the verge of screaming but you couldn’t find the words.

 _V_ aluing the only goal you set yourself more than your life you followed her to abandonment and cold, damp moorland and followed the flickering light that seemed to enclose your existence that led you to-

 _E_ xhaustion. That was what hit you as you dragged yourself to the place where it should end, where it could end, where it would end. You just hadn’t foreseen what that holy place would bring you.

 

 _M_ aybe you couldn’t have predicted it but what went through you as you slumped to your knees, was that this you didn’t want this for her. She would soon share the same fate as you but you couldn’t give it to her.

 _E_ ven in death, you failed her like she had failed you.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Uhm well I hoped you liked it, I've wanted to write this for so long and tonight it suddenly happened.


End file.
